It happened today. The moment that I knew was coming, the
one that I would celebrate and that would still be bittersweet. Sig grew out of
his newborn clothes. A box has been purchased, labeled and stored with my
favorite items for a possible further child or nostalgia in twenty years. I am
glad that I was never “baby-crazy,” and that in all of Alex’s and my
conversations regarding Sig’s arrival, it was that of a human who we would get
to teach, learn from and watch grow into a man. However, seeing his clothes get
a little tighter as he stretches his legs means that many of the things I have
enjoyed these last few weeks will soon be replaced. Sleeping on my chest will
be replaced with keeping up with his crawling and responding to his hungry
“clicks” will soon be listening to his observations and ideas.
We have had family weddings the last two weekends, which
were emotional for me in that the last family wedding was when we found out we
were pregnant. At each, Sig was held, admired and loved on by many. I found
myself needing to grab him for quick momma cuddle sessions because I missed him
so much. I hope to never forget special times like holding him close to me on a
sunny afternoon while singing “Be Thou My Vision” into his ear along with other
friends and family who live this hymn out every day. To celebrate love is such
a special thing, whether it be the love of God, our love for our children or a
couple’s love for one another. Alex and I sat on a porch swing overlooking the
vineyard where the wedding was held, we reminisced where we were at four years
ago as newlyweds before taking Sig in our arms out on to the dance floor to
rock to some Michael Jackson.
I have been able to live in the moment more in the past six
weeks than I have ever been able to, and I will continue to strive to do so
through each milestone. I will celebrate his development, knowing that with
every achievement he is becoming a little bit more of the man he is meant to
be.
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